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Shame

by Paul Luckhoff

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about

This song was made as a history/English project for school, where we were meant to show an underrepresented perspective on World War II or the Cold War. I wrote this song from the perspective of a gay man being persecuted during World War II, a lot of the lyrics were inspired by the movie Paragraph 175 by Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman.

lyrics

Lyrics:

I was carefree
I could be who I wanted to be
Berlin dance clubs ever so common
It was strange at first, but I went there often
Where men danced with men
and women with women
And my love did not align
with paragraph 175, but I
felt no reason to abide
And we would laugh at the news
Ridiculous to think they would follow through

But one day I got a call from the police
My name was on the list
Could have been a look, a touch, a gesture
They tore me away from my home
With no ear for my objections
Not even a trial

They say my heart is plagued with
a contagious disease
A weakness depriving this land
of the children that I owe her
What they call re-education
seems more like extermination
Because I know I cannot change
Was I born to die in this place?

My future becomes an afterthought
As my body withstands what my mind cannot
And there will be no redemption story
as we die without any glory

And countless faces
perish only for the love they showed
Beaten, tortured, experimented on
but the world may never know
With my former life on fire
I know I’ll never be the same
For this world and for humanity
I can only feel ashamed

My future becomes an afterthought
As my body withstands what my mind cannot
And there will be no redemption story
as we die without any glory

Now that it’s over
Who have I to turn to?
When nobody cares to listen
There’s nothing left to do
It’s over now and done with
Nothing to have pride in
And something within me is forever broken
And I am swallowed by silence and shame
So what is there now but silence and shame?

credits

released April 11, 2019

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Paul Luckhoff Sunnyvale, California

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