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Walking Home

by Paul Luckhoff

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about

my first song!

lyrics

lyrics:

why do i try to get anything across?
when i can't reply without stumbling over my words
do you have any questions for me
that i can respond to
with a one word answer

you can change the way you sit
to make yourself seem more confident
but it wouldn't feel right paired with the way you act
and you can tell yourself that they don't care
but you'll still worry about the things you wear
coz you only hear everything they're not saying
and you can plan what you're going to say
but it never helps at all anyway
coz it still comes out the same way
and i forget what i wanted to say

and how can anyone find any value in the interactions i have with them and
how could anyone know how i see them when i never turn the right parts inside out

and i'm lost between the lines now
there's something that i have to tell you
but every time i see your eyes now
i need more time to think it through
with all the apprehension i show
i'm sure it's obvious
and there's a lot of people i know
who tell me i'm overthinking this

i know it's written all over me
but i can't read it

i'm walking home now
it's 75 degrees out
and my right hand is spazzing out
out of frustration with what i said
gas station coffee tastes really bad

he said "what's going on?"
i don't give an answer for fear of it sounding wrong
a lot of the time i just lose all perspective
i feel disconnected from everyone i know

now my finger's bleeding coz i cut it on the chem test
i can't tell if i'm making things seem worse in my head
spoke with a monotone voice as if i didn't care
i didn't sound like i wanted to be there
but i wanted to be there
and someday i'll have to find a way to say this
coz someday it'll be out of my hands
but i just hate the way it sounds and i hate that feeling
she says the longer i wait, the more insulting it gets
but what am i supposed to do, i'm not ready yet
i haven't figured it out yet
how to say it out loud

and how could anyone find any value in the interactions i have with them and
how could anyone know how i see them when i never turn the right parts inside out

and i'm lost between the lines now
i think there's something in my way
there's things i'm trying not to hide now
but i hide them anyway
and i'm nervous all the time now
was there something that i missed
and there's no patience in your eyes now
i think i'm overthinking this

credits

released November 29, 2018

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Paul Luckhoff Sunnyvale, California

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